11 April 2014

Letter of Rejection

Mokarran Condom Company
6969 Slippery Root Drive
Dropdrawer, NC 22269

Friday, December 13th


Mr. Willie Jackson:

It is regrettable that we must inform you that we have rejected your application to model and represent our product, Mokarran’s crowning achievement in the condom field.

Though your general appearance is not displeasing, our board of directors feels that you wearing out product does not portray a positive, image of our product. A loose, baggy, and wrinkled condom is not considered pleasing. We did admire your efforts to secure it with denture adhesive but even then it slipped off before we could get the photographs taken. We must note, however, that until now, we have never seen a penis that looked like a child’s bicycle grip.

We appreciate your interest and thank you for your time. Your application will be filed for further consideration, if by chance we decide that there is a market for micro-mini condoms.

Please forward our greetings and deepest sympathy to your partner(s).


Dick A. Wanker,
President, Mokarran NA

PS: Remember our slogan...Cover your stump before you hump. Don’t be silly and protect your willy. Before you attack, wrap your whacker. If you’re not going to sack it, go home and jack it!

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