22 February 2014

Mac Users Know Better

Smarter people people buy Mac 'puters'. Apple tech support calls don't have the problem of gross stupidity. Therefore, all examples must be from Windows OS users.

Tech  support:    What kind of computer do you have?
Customer:    A  white one...
Tech  support:    Click  on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer:    Your left or my left?
Customer:    Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find  printer'.  I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..
Tech  support:    What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer:    A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
Customer:   My keyboard  is not working anymore.
Tech  support:   Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer:   No. I can't  get behind the computer.
Tech  support:    Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: !   OK
Tech support:   Did the  keyboard come with you?
Customer:  Yes
Tech support:   That means the keyboard  is not plugged in.
Customer:   I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support:    Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:   Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech  support:    Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:   Five dots.
Tech  support:    What  anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:   Netscape.
Tech support:   That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer:   Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..
Customer:     I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
Tech support:    How may I help you?
Customer:   I'm writing my first email.
Tech support:    OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer:   Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?

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